nostalgia is the thief of aging

These words sat in my notes app for the past 2 years. I often write poetry. I know, that is criminally nerdy but whatever. I love writing poetry. Poetry expresses a new language of beautifully crafted stories that I find simple yet so powerful. Regardless, I came across this line I wrote and spent some time to reflect.

I love nostalgia. Whether I am just driving by that hometown Dunkin and think of the times the car was piled up with hungover girls getting the holy grail coffee (to us New Englanders) or wistfully scrolling through my summer camera roll and yearning for the seasons to change. If nostalgia was a place I would live there. They say this to new moms and dads often but the days are slow, and the years fly by. As I have gotten older, I have seen first-hand the inevitable change that happens and how time moves faster and faster. I cannot believe that almost four years ago I stepped foot on Georgia's campus for the first time, or three years ago that my youngest brother turned 10 years old, or even five years ago I was playing field hockey with my teammates at our annual tournament in Florida awaiting emails from college coaches - so uncertain of our future. Time seriously flies. I often get stuck in these thought patterns where I feel so old, and I get anxious over the question "what do you want to do with your life?" and when anyone asks about my long-term goals I partially get excited but mainly want to throw up. What do you mean I am old enough to really live independently? I mean, yes, I am 21 years-old, but I will always still need my mom and dad. I would give anything to live at home again for one day with all my siblings, parents, and dogs under one roof. And I do not mean to temporarily live there. I want to live there and not reach for my pajamas out of a suitcase. I miss the people I used to be close with, past relationships, loved ones that have passed and experiences that come and go. Time just moves on with or without their presence and time goes on through each experience.

Nostalgia is a beautiful thing. It is a blessing to feel and to miss the things and people we love. It can be seen as the thief of aging, but there is joy in aging. As much as I am still learning to think this way, I see the gratitude and optimism for the future. There is so much life still to live. I mean Carrie Bradshaw and her friends had so much fun and experience in their thirties! We are young, full of life, and feeling nostalgia for the things we love is a glorious thing to look back on. It is important to change the narrative and be grateful for the life we have built. We are lucky to feel. We are honored to live the way we do and nostalgia is just a reminder of the beautiful lives we all have. So, I do not think nostalgia is necessarily the thief of aging, it is just the way we choose to understand these feelings.